Living Cartoon Profile No. 3

Name: John Doe (yes, legally, as of three months ago)

Birth name: crow well mountain juniper (all lower case)
Name people actually use: John Doe
Reason for spooky birth name and subsequent selection of John Doe as a real name: Grew up in a lesbian commune and was home-schooled until the age of twelve. Never saw a TV set until age fifteen. Wants to be statistically normal to counteract his wacko upbringing.
Non-work e-name(s): johndoedammit@aol.com
Preferred room temperature: 62°F ("I may have grown up in a lesbian commune, but I think we truly are overdependent on climate control systems in our society.")
Favourite game: The Simpsons Hit & Run
Preferred Simpsons character: Groundskeeper Willie OR Lard Lad
Does he watch too much TV, specifically The Simpsons, to compensate for his media-free upbringing?: Yes
Preferred karaoke song: None
Reason for having no preferred karaoke song: Grew up without pop culture or music: "I just don't get it—but I'm trying, I really am."
Food group most prevalent within work cubicle: M&M's (which is based on statistics on items most commonly eaten out of hotel mini-bars)

© Douglas Coupland 2006